So, I won an award.
And even though I am thrilled, I am also filled with dread.
Because along with good things come negative thoughts like:
Do I deserve this?
Do other people think I deserve this?
If I put this on my resume, is it going to make casting directors judge me more harshly?
Is it going to make a casting director roll their eyes if they don’t think my voice sounds award-wining?
And that, my friends, is a very sneaky imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is already sneaky. And it doesn’t show up like, “I’m an imposter!” It shows up more subtly, and for me it often feels like it’s coming from outside instead of in my own head.
I’m a wonderful over-thinker. Sometimes I can’t rely on Cognitive Behavior Therapy because thinking about thinking doesn’t really fix over-thinking. That’s why I wrote my blog called “Spirit and Body.”
But I’ve decided that I don’t want to dwell on whether I deserve it or what other people think. I won an award and I want to enjoy it.
Do you ever suffer from imposter syndrome?